I have to say the last para of the OP is rather self destrucyive instructions .And a recipe for misery in more than one life.
Though we are supposed to forgive,the idea we have to stick around for the same abuse and unfaithfullness time and time again is hogwash.
Yes i know how many 70×7 is….and forgiveness works to a point,but over forgiveness is destructive to both parties.
Specially in a couple relationship.
When a person,(no matters who)is unfaithfull to their partner,the chances that they have been unfaithfull previously,as well as they will be unfaithfill in the future are much enhanced.
If your spouse ie unfaithfull,then it is prudently wise to break up with he/she.The likelihood of honesty from that person in all matters,is not very great.
If one engages in christian forgiveness towards their spouse over this it must be with the sobering promise that if there s a repeat,that is definately THE END>
Any more forgivings will not succeed in teaching your partner anything other than you are easily manipulated and weak.Therefore it is ok to use,abuse and betray you at thier convenience.
Too much forgiveness is a sure sign your own self esteem is low,not that you are humble,which is a different trait.
An abusive spouse will home in on that and exploit tit as a weakness wheather consscious /unconsciously.
Abused people do imitate their abusers when they are in a power position.And even when they appear to be the victums in the sceneario.
In fact they may set a lot of situations up for the purpose of convoncing their spouse that there is something wrong with tthem.rather than take responsibility for stuff that they are the instigators of.
Like acting ignorant about some simple thing to the point of exasperating you into raising your voice.when you do,they cringe and cover their ears and act like you are being unreasonable to get so upset with them over such a trivial matter.This puts them in the position of power as you try to make amends for yelling.
get it?They make you the bafd guy by manipulating your temper and patience,then when you eventually fail the test,they have you in the position of owing them something for your abuse.
Or they may use the incident to rationalize further unfaithfullnesses.
The idea that love will make up for abuse is not a good one,and it is a fallacy most of the time,because you are not dealing with 2 equally moral people.
You cant be sure the prof victum even has morals of any kind.
If a cheating spouse refuses counselling,or agrees to it but never gets around to it,or insists that as adults you should be able to repair the tear in your trust wwithout outside help.Then you are looking at a great indication of denial,aand a refusal to change.As well as the almost surety that there are further secrets that have not come out yet.
Also you are putting yourself in a position of personal danger to your own soul/spirit,even life in some extreme cases.
Te situation is not healthy for you,but for the cheater,it is serious indeED. tHE ADVICE GIVEN DOES NOT WORK WITHOUT THE hOLY sPIRIT THATS FOR SURE…AND SERIOUS REPENTANCE MUST BE EVIDENTT FROM A LONG WAYS AWAY.
oTHERWISE IT IS JUST SUICIDE TO FORGIVE OFF HAND…..