I believe you have to hold your missionaries, teachers, elders, etc. to a higher standard, because God does. His Word says plainly that teachers of the Word will be held to a higher standard than other beleivers.
As a pastor I can never forget this. If I step out of line and teach something that is untrue, then I not only have sinned I have led others into sin.
As for your other questions, I read the book of Mormon first before I was saved, then again after I was saved. I did the same thing with the Bible, but the difference is that the TRUTH contained in the Bible led me to a saving knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ, while the things contained in the book of Mormon did not AND in some cases contradicted the Bible.
As for the manner and attitude in which I read it, it was no different than with the Bible. I did not know about all of the inconsistencies in Joseph Smith’s story until much later.
I would like very much to talk with you sometime. As for now though, it is 1:13 am here and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.
Sharing Christ’s Love,