Home Forums Re: The husband is the leader?


I’ve been married to this very same man – or it sure seems like it. The difficult part was that our non-denominational church at the time was very adamant about the man being the leader of the family, and my husband refused to move into that position. It took a long time for me to bring him to a point where he even knew what the bills were and as I’m gifted as an administrator with a sense for numbers, handling/juggling the household things came very easy. However, after some serious studying, a teacher at our church balanced the man as leader with this…he can lead, but, he can also delegate. So, how could he move into a position of leadership (albeit initially kicking and screaming)after I’d done this without rocking the boat for so long? Well, what I did was tell him that I needed help with the family finances. That took away the intimidation. I was seeking help. Then, I showed him what I was doing and pointed out the rough spots. Together, we worked out a plan. From there, although I still write 99% of the checks, I give him what I call a “state of the union” report which is essentially where we are and whats happening financially. I no longer feel it’s my responsibility to make sure everything is covered. When a problem arises, it is our problem and we have to come to a solution.

I know I’m referring to financial matters, but, the same can be workable in other areas. You are seeking help from your husband. If he’s like my husband, if I went to him with Bible verses and said “you should be doing this” he would shut down completely. That is not the thing to do. But, instead, I told him I needed help – and I did. This is not a deception. I really did need help. I was also crushed under the rock.

Don’t leave prayer out of this. God can work marvelously. He knows your heart. Open up to him and ask Him to work in your marriage to grow hubby into the man God wants him to be. Also, that the Holy Spirit keep you on guard to not fall back into the old ways that brought you to this point – this is so easy to do.

Hang in there and enjoy the ride milmissiongirl – God is faithful and awesome.

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