Home Forums Re: Still hurting


Thanks for your kind reply. I can assure you, it’s not merely jealousy or over-possessiveness on my part. After all, I never ever experienced these feelings during the first 37 years of our marriage, although I know at one time he also became very friendly with some ladies at an early morning prayer group,that I didn’t attend with him, but I seldom saw them together , so it didn’t really bother me.

It is a reaction to the four years of humiliation I underwent, due to the way my husband went out of his way to pay attention to those ladies, and also the casual way in which he treated me in public.

We have left the cell group at my insistence, as I know that, in spite of his assurance, I know he’ll simply fall back into the same pattern of intimacy with those women again.

What really amazes me is my husband’s lack of insight and sensitivity into the ramifications of his close friendships with those women. He seems to have no astuteness when it comes to gauging the proprietry of his relationship with those women, especially as a christian husband, I think he’s been playing with fire, apart from the fact that he neglected his own marriage relationship with me. All this is assuming that he’s as naive as he professes to be.

On the other hand, he may be in denial of the fact that he was looking for female attention and admiration from those women, which is certainly what he got. He denies this vehemently, of course, but how else can on eexplain his irrational behaviour?

All I know, is that it’s one of the hardest things the world to convince a fine, upstanding man who’s admired for his strength of character in out community, like my husband, that his behaviour was both inappropriate and irresponsible. As, I said before, he’s only stopped talking to them under duress from me.

As for those ladies, I could see they felt very smug for quite a long time that they could receive so much attention from , but lately I’ve noticed that they look quite put out by the fact that he’s stopped communicationg with them. I think they had begun to rely on his attentive ways that made them feel good about themselves.

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