Sorry, angelicangel, but what exactly is it you don’t get?
The guy has not one single “awesome” quality that I can see! Read what you have written, precious sister, then read the Word of God and your confusion will go. Feelings obviously are not what will guide you on the right path here, so use your head and not your hormones. Already it’s obvious that the peace of God is absent from your heart concerning this man, so make a decision to stop this before you get further misled.
God has an awesome plan and purpose for your life. He values you highly and there is no way He intends for you to be joined to someone who does not or will not value and cherish you as He does. Fall in love with Jesus, girl, and then you can be sure you will recognise clearly the strategies of the enemy to rob you of the best that God intends for your life.
CHOOSE LIFE !