Hey Laura! Nice to meet you and thanks for sharing. I am not critical of who you are. I know of lots of christians who come from similar backgrounds and have struggled (my husband being one of them). But YOU, my friend, are an OVERCOMER!!! I just want to encourage you to keep pressing forward! Addictions are nasty things aren’t they? But He who is in you (Jesus) is greater than he who is in the world (Satan). God promises that to you in His word. And you can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength. I know how it feels to be a lonely christian too, so I hope that this message makes you feel at least a little more uplifted.
Bless You for your honesty!