Genesis 1:1-3

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r m
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Since you insisted that we look at the Bible, we’ll look at the Bible:

My comments are in red and blue, respectively:

Genesis 1

1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. The creation sequence (well, one of them anyway) The beginning of what? Is this God’s beginning?

2 And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

3 And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. So God created the sun to give light!

4 And God saw the light, that it was goodDid God need the light to see that it was good? How come God didn’t know it would be good prior to making it?: and God divided the light from the darkness. So God set the earth rotating so the sun would shine on different parts of the earth at different times

5 And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. [color red]Yes, day and night, obviously the earths’ rotation around the sun!

6 And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters.

7 And God made the firmament, and divided the waters whichApparently, God is grammatically challenged- the “which” should be “that” in order to be accurate were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so.

8 And God called the firmament HeavenFirmament- the vault or arch of the sky (Merriam-Webster online), so then we can reach heaven, it’s up in the sky!. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

9 And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so.

10 And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good.

11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grassO.K., since God already made the sun and it was shining down on the earth to separate night and day, the creation of plants would logically follow afterwards due to photosynthesis and all, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

12 And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. Is it going to be this redundant throughout?

13 And the evening and the morning were the third day.

14 And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signsGod must be into astrology- the signs in the stars! So why are so many Christians against astrology?, and for seasons, and for days, and years:

15 And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so. Wait a minute, back up; didn’t God already make the lights in verse 3?

16 And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also. So apparently God didn’t make the sun until now… so what was the light form before? Are these literal days as some believe? If not, the plants would all be dead without the sun

17 And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth, So the sun and moon are in heaven or just the stars? When a star explodes wouldn’t that destroy heaven?

18 And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.

19 And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

20 And God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven. So the waters brought forth the fowl? Life came from the seas?

21 And God created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

22 And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the waters in the seas, and let fowl multiply in the earth.

23 And the evening and the morning were the fifth day.

24 And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and beast of the earth after his kind: and it was so.

25 And God made the beast of the earth after his kind, and cattle after their kind, and every thing that creepeth There are over 300,000 species of beetle… why was God so particularly fond of beetles?upon the earth after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

26 And God said, Let us make man in our imageIn OUR image? Definitely plural. So either there are other God’s or this God has a multiple-personality disorder after our likeness: and let them have dominion So this is where good Christians have gotten this idea that they were superior to everything else? Oh, but I thought humans were despicable and deserving of eternal damnation?over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. So this is Adam and Eve? Where is the naughty tree?

28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat. God gave them every tree for the fruit to be their meat or food!

30 And to every beast of the earth, and to every fowl of the air, and to every thing that creepeth upon the earth, wherein there is life, I have given every green herb for meat: and it was so.

31 And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.

So God has made the earth in a rather elementary, illogical progression that doesn’t coincide with the natural order of things like plants needing the sun for photosynthesis. But hey, if God is some paranoid tribal Jew in a tent, we can forgive him for he knoweth not about such things. We also see God has made man and woman and told them to rule over all the earth, and told them that the fruit of every tree was theirs for their sustenance. In addition, we see that there are multiple God’s, or the one has created some imaginary friends for himself; his precious!

Genesis 2

1 Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.

2 And on the seventh day God ended his work whichGrammar, God, grammar! he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.

3 And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made. The creation is done!

4 These are the generations of the heavens and of the earth when they were created, in the day that the LORD God made the earth and the heavens,

5 And every plant of the field before it was in the earth, and every herb of the field before it grew: for the LORD God had not caused it to rain upon the earth, and there was not a man to till the ground. Observe Darwinian theory in the Bible! Descent with modification! The Bible has evolved! Here we are getting the other story of creation; was the first just a lie, a story, some BS?

6 But there went up a mist from the earth, and watered the whole face of the ground.

7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust so man is just dust? Maybe a lit spit to hold things together? Well, just as long as he didn’t evolve from primates who have a less then 2% genetic difference than we do. Makes so much more sense to think we evolved from dust!of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. So God didn’t form man before when he said he did? Obviously, God can’t even make it through two chapters without contradicting himself. He told us he created man before, now he is saying that he didn’t create man before now! God can’t keep his stories straight!

8 And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in EdenWhere, exactly, was this?; and there he put the man whom he had formed.

9 And out of the ground made the LORD God to grow every tree that is pleasant to the sight, and good for food; the tree of life also in the midst of the garden, and the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Since God told us, “Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.” then obviously these were ok for the man to eat too?

10 And a river went out of Eden to water the garden; and from thence it was parted, and became into four heads.

11 The name of the first is Pison: that is it which compasseth the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold;

12 And the gold of that land is good: there is bdellium and the onyx stone.

13 And the name of the second river is Gihon: the same is it that compasseth the whole land of Ethiopia.

14 And the name of the third river is Hiddekel: that is it which goeth toward the east of Assyria. And the fourth river is Euphrates.

15 And the LORD God took the man, and put him into the garden of Eden to dress it and to keep it.

16 And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat:

17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of itSo man can’t eat any tree? Please, God, at least try and be consistent! Once again, this isn’t so hard to understand if God is a starved tribal Jewish Shaman in a tent in the middle of the desert, hallucinating from dehydration: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die. Why did God put the tree in there if he didn’t want the man to eat it? If I don’t want my son to get at something, especially something that will make him surely die, I wouldn’t put it next to him! In fact, this type of negligent parenting would land any human in jail! So, I guess we aren’t really in their image, are we.

18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the airGod said the fowl of the air came from the water- Gen. 1:20, not from the ground- this book is definitely a holey book, definitely full of holes!; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. So Adam named all 300,000 species of beetle? And the other millions of species that are alive today as well as the millions that are extinct?

20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. So women are just an overgrown rib?

23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Here we see the beginnings of the sexism in the book!

24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

We see that the whole of Chapter One was a lie, or irrelevant or something. But it is completely inconsistent with Chapter Two. You would think one of the guys in the tent would have noticed the contradictions: blind leading the blind? We also see that God told Adam not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil before he had made the woman from Adam’s rib. If they had no knowledge of good and evil, then it makes no sense to think they new they shouldn’t eat from the tree. They didn’t know why they should listen to God, they didn’t know what the consequence was; did God explain what death was?

Genesis 3

1 Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. God made the serpent, that clever species of talking snake that has just caused so much trouble for Midwestern corn farmers! And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?

2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:

3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die. Now, wait, the woman wasn’t present for that exchange! I suppose it still doesn’t matter that God said he made every tree for man

4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: When were Adam and the woman enlightened to the concept of death?

5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.

6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wiseNO MATCH FOR [color, red, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat. As far as we have been told, the woman was never told not to eat from the tree, and Adam never asked her where she got it, so at best they are only guilty of ignorance, and since they could not have known what they were doing is wrong, there is no logical way to say they were guilty of anything but ignorance- but that is Gods’ fault, God is to blame for their ignorance

7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.

8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.

9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou? God didn’t know where they were? But God knows everything there is to be known?

10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.

11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?

12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. Blame the woman! Women are evil!

13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. Blame the serpent! Serpents are evil! In any case we still have not been given any indication that the woman new of the command not to eat from the tree, nor that they could have had knowledge that it was evil to disobey a command before eating from the tree that bestowed knowledge of evil.

14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat Basically, then, serpents are to eat man, because man is no more than dust? all the days of thy life: this must be the start of the tendency to blame everything on the temptation of the devil!

15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel. The start of the loving God’s eternal sentence and condemnation!

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conceptionHow nice! God makes childbirth almost unbearably painful as a sanction against something that the woman wasn’t told about, nor had the capacity to understand! Well, at least we can understand the origins of the dictator who tortures innocent people!; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. Men shall rule over women! Yep, definitely the product of uncivilized tent men!

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Loving God, indeed!

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. All are descended from Eve?

21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them. God’s a seamstress

22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of usObviously talking to the other God’s, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever: We can’t let him live forever because he has gained knowledge!

23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life. How nice, guards!

The text certainly speaks for itself. Personally, I’m amazed that anyone could view this as anything more than a misguided rant by some random bronze aged guy in his tent?

To conclude the first three chapters of Genesis, I will include the comments of the brilliant philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche from his The AntiChrist, Chapter 48, which will be a nice precursor to my examination of the next few chapters up until God decides to murder everyone!:

– Has anybody ever really understood the celebrated story which stands at the beginning of the Bible,- concerning God’s deadly panic over science?…. Nobody has understood it. This essentially sacerdotal book naturally begins with the great inner difficulty of the priest: he knows only one great danger, consequently “God” has only one great danger.-

The old God, entirely “spirit,” a high-priest through and through, and wholly perfect, is wandering in a leisurely fashion round his garden; but he is bored. Against boredom even the gods themselves struggle in vain.* What does he do? He invents man,- man is entertaining…. But, behold, even man begins to get bored. God’s compassion for the only form of misery which is peculiar to all paradises, exceeds all bounds: so forthwith he creates yet other animals. God’s first mistake : man did not think animals entertaining,- he dominated them, he did not even wish to be an “animal.” Consequently God created woman. And boredom did indeed cease for that moment,- but many other things ceased as well! Women was God’s second mistake.- “Women in her innermost nature is a serpent, Heva”- every priest knows this : “all evil came into this world through women,”- every priest knows this too. “Consequently science also comes from woman.”…. Only through woman did man learn to taste the tree of knowledge.- What had happened? Panic had seized the old God. Man himself had been his greatest mistake, he had created a rival for himself, science makes you equal to God,- it is all up with priests and gods when man becomes scientific!- Moral: science is the most prohibited thing of all,- it alone is forbidden. Science is the first, the germ of all sins, the original sin. This alone is morality.- “Thou shalt not know”:- the rest follows as a matter of course. God’s panic did not deprive him of his intelligence. How can one guard against science? For ages this was his principal problem. Reply: man must be kicked out of paradise! Happiness, leisure leads to thinking,- all thoughts are bad thoughts…. Man must not think.- And the “priest-per-se” proceeds to invent distress, death, the vital danger of pregnancy, every kind of misery, decrepitude, and affliction, and above all disease,- all these are but weapons employed in the struggle with science! Trouble prevents man from thinking…. And notwithstanding all these precautions! Oh, horror! the work of science towers aloft, it storms heaven itself, it rings the death-knell of the gods,- what’s to be done?- The old God invents war; he separates the nations, and contrives to make men destroy each other mutually (- the priests have always been in need of war…). War, among other things, is a great disturber of science!- Incredible! Knowledge, the rejection of the sacerdotal yoke, nevertheless increases.- So the old God arrives at this final decision: “Man has become scientific,- there is no help for it, he must be drowned!” ….

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