Home Forums Confused…again.


Hey, I’m Nicole. I’m kind of new to this site, but I really enjoy the whole feel for it. It’s nice to know that there is some kind of Christian community out here on the internet. Anyway, I’m 17 years old and I was introduced to God about a year ago. God has really changed my life. He’s so amazing, and I thank Him so very much for being part of my life now. I do not live in a Christian home. In fact, my family is FAR from Christian all together. It’s hard, I don’t know what to do most of the time with my parents. I live with my mom and my step-dad. They don’t even believe in God. I finally told them that God was an important part of my life a couple of months ago. They see the way I live and I hope someday it can have an effect on them.

Anyway, this is where I have the problem, my real father (who doesn’t live with me) and I don’t have a good relationship at all. I only see him a couple of times a year now, and sometimes I just feel like he doesn’t care about me (or my brother) at all. Anyway, when I was little, my father used to be a pastor. I remember the church and the people, and it was a wonderful experience. My father was different back then…Better. He knew God and lived his live for Him everyday… When I was about 12, my father lost everything. He lost his church…and himself. I remember him drifting slowly afterward…and then he just completely let go.

Since I’ve become a Christian, I’ve been thinking of my father a lot lately. I just wish I had the support from family in my life. It’s so hard being a strong Christian and sorrounded by non-believers. God is always with me, so I always get through it, but it’s still hard. Anyway, I finally got the courage a couple of days ago to visit my father. I got to talk to him finally, and it was amazing. We talked about God for about 2 and half hours. My father knows so much about God, I mean I agreed with everything he had to say, completely. I just don’t understand how someone with so much knowledge…just can’t seem to have a personal relationship anymore???

When my dad had his church, he didn’t have any family support either. I remember how hard it was for him…No one cared. I told my dad a couple of days ago about how I feel that way now, but I still know God is there, and I have fellowship with my friends and all. My father continued to tell me that I’m mostly in this by myself now. God is with me, but I’m by myself. I think he just said that because of his personal experiences…I just wish I could help him. My brother and I were so young when my father was a Christian. We knew God was real, but we didn’t understand. Now that I understand, I long so despirately to have my father back. It’s like he’s a completely different person…and the father I once knew dropped off the face of the earth. It hurts thinking about it, but like I said…he has so much knowledge. He knows…but he doesn’t do it. I honestly don’t know how he does that?? He has the same beliefs I do….

I just hope that now that my dad sees the way I am he can see hope again. He used to know God…maybe I can help spark that again. We can both have support from our family together….I just pray that God will bring him back to us….

Sorry it was so long. Thank you for reading


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