Caedmon’s Call
Song Index
Lead of Love
Looking back at the road so far
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight
Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery
Looking back You know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love
Looking back I can finally see (I'd rather have wisdom)
How failures bring humility (than be)
Brings me to my knees (a comfortable fool)
Helps me see my need for Thee
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Close of Autumn
When I'm cold and alone
All I want is my freedom and a sudden gust of gravity
I stop wailing and kicking
Just to let this water cover me, cover me
Only if I rest my arms, rest my mind,
You'll overcome me and swell up around me.
With my fighting so vain,
With my vanity so fought, I'm rolling over
'Cause in just the same way
That the stream becomes swollen,
Swollen with cold up over the ground,
When my heart draws close to the close of Autumn
Your love abounds
All the time I'm thinking,
Wondering how it would be to breathe in deep.
I guess I need to be careful when I ask for a drink
(Just might get what I ask for).
And I know just what You'd say to me,
That's why I don't ask You.
What would I ask You?
I'm like a bull-headed boy these days, crying
My toy's gone...
You're shiny and new.
Guess I'll drop my anger here before I float away
And the chains around me.
An awful lot of talking,
I don't leave You much to say;
You didn't ever leave me-
And my greatest fear was You'd leave me here.
A long time back my feeet could touch the bottom.
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Not the Land
So many miles behind, still I drive pedal down,
Off the map hours back, it's beneath the seat, I think,
With two pennies and a match and something else,
I can't remember,
But in the time that it would take to fish it out
I'll be another mile gone-
And I feel so wrong,
Trying to feel right,
In light of all the things I've past,
You'd think that I'd have learned-
This is not the land was promised me,
Even as far as my eyes can see,
I'm so wound up I can't even breathe,
I don't want words,
I just want some peace-
Its seems I've misplaced me faith,
It's 11:12 nothing's changed,
Well nothing except the channel I'm afraid,
And the number there,
No, it's the same,
Oh, this must be the savior of the month
And what I must have,
Where's the night gone?
I'm so tired and out of shape,
You've gotta get me up,
But I can't get up today-
And it's been so long
Since I've felt right,
All the rote, rehearsal, proof
You'd think that I'd have learned-
Break me-
This is not the land was promised me,
Gotta get out of bed,
Get me something to read,
Gotta feed my brother,
Not my eyes,
If not, then I'll be all I despise.
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This World
There's tarnish on the golden rule
And I wanna jump from this ship of fools
Show me a place where hope is young
And a people who aren't afraid to love
This world has nothing for me and this world has everything
All that I could want and nothing that I need
This world is making me drunk on the spirits of fear.
So when he says who will go, I am nowhere near.
And the least of these look like criminals to me
So I leave Christ on the street
This world has held my hand and has led me into intolerance
But now I'm waking up, but now I'm breaking up
But now I'm making up for lost time
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Bus Driver
I am a bus driver
and it's four in the morning
And I'm pressing out my clothes beside my bed
Fourteen years been on the job and with many miles behind
Still I'm up at three thirty to make sure I'm there on time
My car gets me along just fine to and from the station
But my castle is this Houston Metro Bus
My first stop is Ashbury.
And the sign's been gone for years
but all the same the people wait cause they know that I'll be there.
What would you say if I told you that I won't be by today?
Would you say that I'm just a bus driver
and what do I know,
just a bus driver
and what do I know,
just a bus driver
and what do I know?
Well, I'm always there by five fifteen
and lately I've been early
'cause Judith likes to be in early to the bank.
And she gives me conversation and a token good for riding.
And she's happy all alone
And then there's Charles in retail sales;
and I hope they pay him well
for the work that young man does
Cause I've never seen the inside
of a custom refrigerator
but I know he's the first and last one there
I wonder what they do all day,
and their respective works.
Suppose they give money and take money away.
Still, I'm just orbiting this town
with the post office my sun.
And I'm circling again.
And I wonder how this world would be
if I was never here to drive this bus around from Ashbury to Main.
Suppose this town would be the same
but with one bus' less exhaust.
But that bank and retail stores,
they just wouldn't be the same.
But what can I see from the limited confines of my bus driving seat?
Only me.
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Standing up for Nothing
I can’t stop staring at myself
My face reflected in this empty plate
I can’t decide if it’s the devil
Or if it’s just something I ate
’Cause he’s been down there all morning
He’s patiently waiting at my gate
He’s throwing rocks at my window
"Hey won’t you come on out and play with me"
And every day when I get up
I see folks trading in their crowns
For all these paper or plastic lives
An opiate for the masses’ hounds
And pride like a vestige of lives lost
The stench of the old folks coming around
Now with the news I heard today
I can’t tell if this world is lost or found
You go’ I’ll be waiting here
And I’m awake’ no I cannot sleep
So I’ll sit upon this rock is you
I ain’t standing up for nothing
I’ve never seen my congressman
But I can’t deny that he exists
’Cause I’ve seen his legislation pass
I’ve seen his name on the ballot list
The same I can’t deny this fallen world
Though not my home it’s where I live
How can I preserve and light the way
For a world that I can’t admit I’m in
’Cause I know who I say you are
But these crows can’t be made to stop
So I’ll sit denying by this fire
I ain’t standing up for nothing
Lack of interest leads to
Lack of knowledge leads to
Lack of perspective leads to
Lack of communication leads to
Lack of understanding leads to
Lack of concern leads to
This complacency denotes
This approval denies
The truth
But I can’t stop staring at myself
It’s my face reflected in this empty plate
And I know that it’s the devil
So you lead’ I’ll be close behind
So you speak’ I’ll hang on your words
You’ve got to lift me from this hardened tree
’Cause I ain’t standing up for nothing
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Hope to Carry On
I can see Jesus hanging on the cross
I can see Jesus hanging on the cross
I can see Jesus hanging on the cross
He came looking for the lost
And Love has come
Love has come
Love has come
And it's giving me hope to carry on
I can hear Jesus saying "Father forgive"
I can hear Jesus saying "Father forgive"
I can hear Jesus saying "Father forgive"
What a thing he did
And Love has come
Love has come
Love has come
And it's giving me hope to carry on
I can see Love
Love is all I want to see
Love can make a beggar rich and set a prisoner free
I know He can do it for you
And God knows He did it for me.
I can see Love
Love is all I want to show you. Love,
Love's the only way to go. And love,
Love is all a man might need to know
Yes, I know
You know Peter put away his sword
I can see Peter puttin' away his sword
I can see Peter, he put away his sword
He won't fight no more
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Stupid Kid
I think this place is swell
There’s much familiar here
I get my laundry done
And I get home’cooked meals
When I’m feeling tired
I can turn off all the lights
Ignore the knocking on the door
Pretend I’m not alive
Chorus:
Daddy’ it’s Saturday
And I don’t want to go outside
And mow the grass today
Would you love me just as much
If I was just your stupid kid
Would you love me just as much
If I was just your stupid kid
They tell me that I’m bright
Sometimes I think they’re right
But I guess I’ll never know
’Cause I won’t go outside
Some days it’s just so hot
And others it’s so cold
Too much exposure to the sun
Would just make me look old
Chorus
Isn’t this Saturday
Sure feels like Saturday
Wake me Saturday
Daddy’ it’s Saturday
And my mind wanders off
To things I’ve never seen
Are these walls higher than the cost of opportunity
I’m too big for my bed
And I’ve outgrown my shoes
But my fear of leaving
Is the one thing I just can’t lose
Daddy’ it’s Saturday
And I don’t want to go outside
And mow the grass today
Would you love me just as much
If I never got a job
And if I never left your house
Would I be of use to you
If I never amounted to much more
Than just your stupid kid
Would you love me just as much
If I was just your stupid kid
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I Just Don't Want Coffee
Though I am small I've seen things far beyond these city walls,
The land is flat, it rolls for miles.
I don't know much, I know I've many places yet to see,
I know I've been here for awhile.
Wouldn't you know just when I thought I had this figured out,
I'm back at my first day of school,
Trying not to think too loud I raise my hand to scratch my head,
No ideas of what to do-
'Cause something's changed today,
What it is I just can't say,
And if I don't seem OK, I'm OK
So sue me if I just don't want coffee tonight-
I've got this friend who's been around the world a time or tow,
And he keeps maps on all his walls.
I've never been to France, I've heard it's nice this time of year,
Except I don't speak French at all.
I wonder, would it be as hard to have never seen you as to keep you from my sight?
And though I've talked about you to my friend a million tims,
I first saw you tonight.
I still hear you telling me what a big mistake I made,
Funny, that's what I've been telling you,
'Cause I can lead a horse to water, you can even make him drink,
But you can't change his point of view.
Tonight as I was driving home I passed a coffee shop,
And I glanced through the window there;
It was just like the one where you work, where I met you.
I didn't stop, I wouldn't dare,
'Cause something's changed today,
Your way is not my way,
Today's another day-
I'm OK-
So sue me, if I just don't want coffee tonight.
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Not Enough
I mount up with waxen wings
High to reach the sun
And I am no further than
When I first begun
So I build a mount of Athos
To shape your form against the sky
With my home in your hands to show all the people why
To show all the people why
(Chorus)
Everything I do
It's not enough for you
Everything I do
It's not enough
It's not enough for you
In the garden of my pride
The lamented lime tree
Too stupid to cry for rain
Fruitless and choked out by weeds
So I write a book of life
Using the best words I can find
For some struggler to snuggle up
When the world becomes unkind
When the world becomes unkind
(repeat chorus)
I find direction in eastbound clouds
And long for what they might have
But when I step into its midst
Its substance I cannot grasp
So I paint a portrait of you
As if you had human disguise
With oil and canvas to be clay
To open up their eyes
Like you opened up my eyes
(repeat chorus twice)
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Center Aisle
Thank God I'm back in my car
And driving home
And driving home
'Cause the air was thin and so cold
Back in there
It was my first time
Won't be my last time
And the questions rise
Expectations fall
In light of it all
There aren't words to say
Words aren't remembered
But presence is
A good friend once told me
And he was there
He was there
But she wasn't there
It's not fair
It's not fair
Chorus:
What crimes have you committed
Demanding such a penance
That couldn't wait for five more minutes
And a cry for help
'Cause this room is so peaceful
And this room is so quiet
And I hate the silence
And I can't walk the center aisle
I've been here for over three hours
Behind the flowers
So beautiful and young
And so alive
And so in need of someone
Someone to talk to them
'Cause theirs are fragile lives
Chorus
And I think about my brother
And how I just stood there
With my hands in my pockets
And my heart in my throat
Thank God I'm back in my car
And driving home
And driving home
But in that place I leave
All my days of taking life for granted
And the words I wrote for her
And my best friend crying
And a young girl lying
On all our hearts
Chorus
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Coming Home
You say you want a living sacrifice
Well I am a burnt offering
Crawling off the alter and
Back in to the fire
And with my smoke-filled lungs
I cry out for freedom
While locking and chaining myself
To my rotting desires
And I hate the stench,
But I swallow the key.
And with it stuck in my throat, can you hear me?
Can you hear me
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home, but I'm still a long way off
I am shelled-shocked, and I have walked
Through the trenches full of tears
With the mortars of memory
Exploding in my burning ears
You stripped the trees of Lebanon
And now you're stripping me
Of the bark of false morality
And the bite of selfish greed
Can you hear me?
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home, but I'm still a long way off
Will you run to me? Will you come to me?
Will you meet me, will you greet me,
Will you drag me home 'cause I'm still a long way off
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home
I'm comin' home, I'm comin' home
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