Sanctified Singles

I pray that this article speaks to you the way it has spoken to me. I truly wrote this with the best intentions but I ask that you search in your heart and pray over whatever you may or may not glean from reading it. I will also include here a bit of my own personal experiences in searching for the one the Lord intends for me to be with.

Being single has it's advantages and being equally yoked in a marriage does as well. This article will address the things I am seeing happen to fellow christian single adults. As you very well know, the internet has created an onslaught of both demonic and godly spiritual forces. These forces can throw even the best of christians into a ping pong war and leave us scrambling for truth. After falling to the lures of the internet myself for several years I feel a calling to help others. I desire to be a beacon of light however small I may be and to shed this light upon the dark and gray areas that many are blinded too.

Most of us believe there is a soul mate out there, pleading and praying for the utter chance to find us. We also get caught in believing by some chance if we are Godly enough, mature enough, have our lives together enough then God will let us stumble along eachothers path. I think this very thought is what creates so much depression, hopelessness and desperation in those searching for a soul mate. Does God have a perfect person chosen for us? I cannot answer that no one can, but what I can say is this.

Trying to find a soul mate let alone a godly christian soul mate via online is like trying to play lotto. We can find ourselves surfing through hundreds of profiles of possible suitors, hoping the next number we pick will be the winning number. The internet proves to be a false playground of making us believe that the world is so large and since there is only one person for me this must be the best way to find him or her. Ask yourself how christians found eachother before the internet? Ask yourself if Gods true desire for you is to spend time searching for a mate online? Ask yourself if your heart drops every time another person does not match you or when you get no responses at all in your email box? Could seeking the other half of your heart online actually become an addiction? I think so, because I have been caught in it myself and I have heard the pain in others voices who are experiencing the same thing I have. I think if we are not careful our adversary can really use the internet to set us up for a constant fall in our deepest emotions and in our flesh. The damage is far greater than spending a few dollars on ticket every week and finding out you did'nt win.

Have you found yourself actually looking for signs or little hints that the person you are chatting with might be the one? Things like; both of you used to live in the same town, your middle names are the same, this one is so close to you and in your area, the two of you were saved in the same type of church on the same year, you both share the same spiritual gifts, the list can be endless. I even had a relationship with one man that had an old picture I cherished and lost as child, these pictures are now rare. I instantly took that as a sign the Lord was showing me he was the one. While we must believe the Lord can and does confirm things in our lives, he also taught us that we were not to look for signs and wonders nor are we to trust every spirit. If we begin chatting with someone new and we find ourselves entranced by all the similarities and start looking for some verification that this MUST BE THE ONE, then we have set ourselves up already for heartbreak.

Compatibility comes from true friendship, time and heart sharing conversations. Compatibility comes from being equally yoked but dear brothers and sisters never be deceived that just because someone is a christian that it means you are equally yoked. All of us still have different personalities, different callings and it does not mean that just because someone is saved that the person is instantly equally yoked for us. That is sad indeed because there seems to be so few true single and available christians much less having to think we need to sift through the ones that are. Time, talking, prayer and accountablity are the only true ways to find out if someone is right for us.

The Lord has impressed upon me that it is time for singles to revel in Gods love, to minister to eachother and to those who are lost. If we are doing this and truly seeking him to fulfill our every need we probably won't even notice when the right one is standing in front of us until the Lord whispers in our ear. We will be so busy going about his kingdoms business he just might have to confirm to use a couple times that this is it before we even notice. Who can know the mind of Christ to say or not say he has someone waiting in the wings for us? But we can decide that whether he does or does not we will continue on the path to grow more in him and serve in whatever capacity he has gifted us in. If each of us spent more time worshipping and serving then hunting for a soul mate our days would be filled with much more joy and our unneeded let downs far less.

I must confess I at times still get caught in the lure of the internet when my true intentions are to minister and fellowship only. Yes, I get caught in posting ads in christian dating sites thinking that one angel will finally find my profile and think I am what he has been searching for his entire life. The reality is a profile and a picture does not even come close to knowing whether this person is right for you, add long distance to that and we have a problem, Houston. Chatting online or on the phone is as vast a difference as the East is from the West and there is no short cut to true courtship, it should be done in person.

I will not go without saying that there are some rare occasions where people meet, fall in love, marry and are equally yoked all from putting a profile up online. I will say again though that these are RARE occasions and I compare it to playing the lottery and it is addictive. We would better serve our hearts and our faith in the Lord by spending our time, our hopes and our ambitions serving the Lord in our community and those who come our way online. You have more of a chance of finding a suitable mate by being as active as you can in your church and attending as many activities as you can find in the christian community, but it should never be our sole intent.

After much prayer it finally dawned on me after 8 years of searching for Mr. Heaven sent, that I am the one that is letting myself down each time I don't find him. I literally had to ask myself, Why am I so intent on finding someone? Why am I so convinced that the internet will find Him for me? Why do I question God every time I find out that another one is not the one? Why do I get depressed shortly after chatting with someone that I thought was right for me, only to find the Lord sent them to be ministered to instead? Is not the Lord's purpose far above mine and the ministering to so many hurting christians online above my own needs? I can answer yes to those two questions and though it sounds contradictory I do still feel that tiny bit in my heart that longs for an equally yoked partner. After two failed marriages and two biblical divorces I have this drive in me to make up for lost time, to make right what went wrong. I even think to myself at times that I have run out of chances, that there is no one for me because God wants to keep me to himself. We can really let our minds wander if we are not careful especially when we reach desperation mode.

This I do know; Whatever God has instore for me is his best, Whatever he wants me to do is what I want, Whatever lost saints he sends my way I will be happy to minister to, Whatever saints he sends my way to minister to me I will be humbled for. Whether God chooses for me to be alone in service or with an equal yoked partner serving him I must learn to be happy with either and not try to figure out which one it is. He told us to rest in him, to trust him, to not look behind us, in front of us or beside us and he told us that for a reason.

Are you pushing your own hurt buttons? Are you spending more time seeking and wondering and begging than you are worshipping and serving and being content with where you are? I urge you to not look at the internet as your total answer for finding your soul mate. If God wants someone in your life he will send him or her to you and he does not need your help in any way shape or form.

Maybe even my ads online are my way of trying to help God just a little and in doing so I have literally received no replies, no mail, no answer! One can really get caught in this checking game and when I find nothing should my heart be sad? No, I should not be sad because you see my standards, the standards the Lord put within me in what I desire in a partner are high enough that not just anyone is going to meet them. It will be someone very special and worth waiting for. I would rather have no responses to my ad than 50 from all the wrong people who do not even come close to matching what the Lord wants me to have. More than likely my partner if the Lord intends for another, is busy in his daily life serving the Lord and is not even online, now there is a thought. Granted there are many people ministering online like I feel called to do and we need more of that but our focus should be far far from wondering if we just hit the jackpot. Probably more than 9.9 percent of the time the answer is no. Be good to yourself and let the Lord be good to you by showing you that you do deserve the best, don't ever settle for less. While you are waiting or rather putting your focus on God, become the person that you are hoping to find yourself.

Let the verses and links I have provided below speak to your inner man or woman and may God bring you rest and peace in your heart wherever it is needed.

	Searching For Your Soul Mate Online? *And learning not to hurt ourselves in the process* *Original Drawing By ~DOVE~*
	I pray that this article speaks to you the way it has spoken to me. I truly wrote this with the best intentions but I ask that you search in your heart and pray over whatever you may or may not glean from reading it. I will also include here a bit of my own personal experiences in searching for the one the Lord intends for me to be with. Being single has it's advantages and being equally yoked in a marriage does as well. This article will address the things I am seeing happen to fellow christian single adults. As you very well know, the internet has created an onslaught of both demonic and godly spiritual forces. These forces can throw even the best of christians into a ping pong war and leave us scrambling for truth. After falling to the lures of the internet myself for several years I feel a calling to help others. I desire to be a beacon of light however small I may be and to shed this light upon the dark and gray areas that many are blinded too. Most of us believe there is a soul mate out there, pleading and praying for the utter chance to find us. We also get caught in believing by some chance if we are Godly enough, mature enough, have our lives together enough then God will let us stumble along eachothers path. I think this very thought is what creates so much depression, hopelessness and desperation in those searching for a soul mate. Does God have a perfect person chosen for us? I cannot answer that no one can, but what I can say is this. Trying to find a soul mate let alone a godly christian soul mate via online is like trying to play lotto. We can find ourselves surfing through hundreds of profiles of possible suitors, hoping the next number we pick will be the winning number. The internet proves to be a false playground of making us believe that the world is so large and since there is only one person for me this must be the best way to find him or her. Ask yourself how christians found eachother before the internet? Ask yourself if Gods true desire for you is to spend time searching for a mate online? Ask yourself if your heart drops every time another person does not match you or when you get no responses at all in your email box? Could seeking the other half of your heart online actually become an addiction? I think so, because I have been caught in it myself and I have heard the pain in others voices who are experiencing the same thing I have. I think if we are not careful our adversary can really use the internet to set us up for a constant fall in our deepest emotions and in our flesh. The damage is far greater than spending a few dollars on ticket every week and finding out you did'nt win. Have you found yourself actually looking for signs or little hints that the person you are chatting with might be the one? Things like; both of you used to live in the same town, your middle names are the same, this one is so close to you and in your area, the two of you were saved in the same type of church on the same year, you both share the same spiritual gifts, the list can be endless. I even had a relationship with one man that had an old picture I cherished and lost as child, these pictures are now rare. I instantly took that as a sign the Lord was showing me he was the one. While we must believe the Lord can and does confirm things in our lives, he also taught us that we were not to look for signs and wonders nor are we to trust every spirit. If we begin chatting with someone new and we find ourselves entranced by all the similarities and start looking for some verification that this MUST BE THE ONE, then we have set ourselves up already for heartbreak. Compatibility comes from true friendship, time and heart sharing conversations. Compatibility comes from being equally yoked but dear brothers and sisters never be deceived that just because someone is a christian that it means you are equally yoked. All of us still have different personalities, different callings and it does not mean that just because someone is saved that the person is instantly equally yoked for us. That is sad indeed because there seems to be so few true single and available christians much less having to think we need to sift through the ones that are. Time, talking, prayer and accountablity are the only true ways to find out if someone is right for us. The Lord has impressed upon me that it is time for singles to revel in Gods love, to minister to eachother and to those who are lost. If we are doing this and truly seeking him to fulfill our every need we probably won't even notice when the right one is standing in front of us until the Lord whispers in our ear. We will be so busy going about his kingdoms business he just might have to confirm to use a couple times that this is it before we even notice. Who can know the mind of Christ to say or not say he has someone waiting in the wings for us? But we can decide that whether he does or does not we will continue on the path to grow more in him and serve in whatever capacity he has gifted us in. If each of us spent more time worshipping and serving then hunting for a soul mate our days would be filled with much more joy and our unneeded let downs far less. I must confess I at times still get caught in the lure of the internet when my true intentions are to minister and fellowship only. Yes, I get caught in posting ads in christian dating sites thinking that one angel will finally find my profile and think I am what he has been searching for his entire life. The reality is a profile and a picture does not even come close to knowing whether this person is right for you, add long distance to that and we have a problem, Houston. Chatting online or on the phone is as vast a difference as the East is from the West and there is no short cut to true courtship, it should be done in person. I will not go without saying that there are some rare occasions where people meet, fall in love, marry and are equally yoked all from putting a profile up online. I will say again though that these are RARE occasions and I compare it to playing the lottery and it is addictive. We would better serve our hearts and our faith in the Lord by spending our time, our hopes and our ambitions serving the Lord in our community and those who come our way online. You have more of a chance of finding a suitable mate by being as active as you can in your church and attending as many activities as you can find in the christian community, but it should never be our sole intent. After much prayer it finally dawned on me after 8 years of searching for Mr. Heaven sent, that I am the one that is letting myself down each time I don't find him. I literally had to ask myself, Why am I so intent on finding someone? Why am I so convinced that the internet will find Him for me? Why do I question God every time I find out that another one is not the one? Why do I get depressed shortly after chatting with someone that I thought was right for me, only to find the Lord sent them to be ministered to instead? Is not the Lord's purpose far above mine and the ministering to so many hurting christians online above my own needs? I can answer yes to those two questions and though it sounds contradictory I do still feel that tiny bit in my heart that longs for an equally yoked partner. After two failed marriages and two biblical divorces I have this drive in me to make up for lost time, to make right what went wrong. I even think to myself at times that I have run out of chances, that there is no one for me because God wants to keep me to himself. We can really let our minds wander if we are not careful especially when we reach desperation mode. This I do know; Whatever God has instore for me is his best, Whatever he wants me to do is what I want, Whatever lost saints he sends my way I will be happy to minister to, Whatever saints he sends my way to minister to me I will be humbled for. Whether God chooses for me to be alone in service or with an equal yoked partner serving him I must learn to be happy with either and not try to figure out which one it is. He told us to rest in him, to trust him, to not look behind us, in front of us or beside us and he told us that for a reason. Are you pushing your own hurt buttons? Are you spending more time seeking and wondering and begging than you are worshipping and serving and being content with where you are? I urge you to not look at the internet as your total answer for finding your soul mate. If God wants someone in your life he will send him or her to you and he does not need your help in any way shape or form. Maybe even my ads online are my way of trying to help God just a little and in doing so I have literally received no replies, no mail, no answer! One can really get caught in this checking game and when I find nothing should my heart be sad? No, I should not be sad because you see my standards, the standards the Lord put within me in what I desire in a partner are high enough that not just anyone is going to meet them. It will be someone very special and worth waiting for. I would rather have no responses to my ad than 50 from all the wrong people who do not even come close to matching what the Lord wants me to have. More than likely my partner if the Lord intends for another, is busy in his daily life serving the Lord and is not even online, now there is a thought. Granted there are many people ministering online like I feel called to do and we need more of that but our focus should be far far from wondering if we just hit the jackpot. Probably more than 9.9 percent of the time the answer is no. Be good to yourself and let the Lord be good to you by showing you that you do deserve the best, don't ever settle for less. While you are waiting or rather putting your focus on God, become the person that you are hoping to find yourself. Let the verses and links I have provided below speak to your inner man or woman and may God bring you rest and peace in your heart wherever it is needed. 1 Cor7:35-38 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible. But if a man thinks he ought to marry his fiancee because he has trouble controling his passions and time is passing, it is all right; it is not a sin. Let them marry. But if he has decided firmly not to marry and there is no urgency and he can control his passion, he does well not to marry. So the person who marries does well, and the person who doesn't marry does even better. Proverbs 4:4-6 he taught me and said, "Lay hold of my words with all your heart; keep my commands and you will live. Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or swerve from them. Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Matthew 7:6-8 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. Ask, Seek, Knock "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Psalm 37 Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD ; trust in him and he will do this: Mark 4:19 but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful. Romans 8:4-6 in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit. Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what that nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace;
	False Assumptions, Part I and 2 If Singleness is a Blessing, Why Does it Feel Like a Curse? "Surf Here Often?" Do you believe in “soul mates”? A Gold Mine To A Godly Relationship And/Or Marriage Letting God Satisfy Our Hunger Single life is not fun for me. How does God expect me to be happy? Chemistry….or not? Paul says it is better to marry than to “burn” with passion. If this is true, then why does God not bring a spouse into my life? Does God have one selected for me, or is there more than one and it is up to me to find? Do you have any advice for people who met on the Internet meeting in person? 'ROMANTIC' AND 'REALISTIC' LOVE ARE NOT THE SAME