Punny Biblical Q+A's : Who was the greatest financier in the Bible? A: Noah; he was floating his stock while everyone was in liquidation. Q: Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible? A: Pharaoh's daughter; she went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. Q: What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? A: Ruth-less. Q: Who was the first drug addict in the Bible? A: Nebuchadnezzar; he was on grass for seven years. Q: What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible? A: Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. A: David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. A: Honda... because the apostles were all in one Accord. A: 2 Cor. 4:8 describes going out in service in a Volkswagen, "We are pressed in every way, but not cramped beyond movement." Q: Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? A: Samson; he brought the house down. Q: Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? A: In the Big Inning, Eve stole first, Adam stole second, Cain struck out Abel, and the Prodigal Son came home. The Giants and the Angels were rained out. Q: How did Adam and Eve feel when expelled from the Garden of Eden? A: They were really put out. Q: What is one of the first thing that Adam and Eve did after they were kicked out? A: They really raised Cain. Q: What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden? A: Your mother ate us out of house and home. Q: How long did Cain hate his brother? A: As long as he was Abel! Q: What was the last thing Noah said before he entered the Ark? A: So long Fellers! Q: The ark was built in 3 stories and the top story had a window to let light in, but how did they get light to the bottom 2 stories? A: They used floodlights. Q: After the flood, how many people left the ark ahead of Noah? A: 3 because the Bible says that Noah went forth out of the ark. Q: Where is the first mention of insurance in the Bible? A: When Adam and Eve needed more coverage. Q: Where is another mention of insurance in the Bible? A: When David gave Goliath a piece of the rock. Q: Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible? A: David, he rocked Goliath to sleep. Q: Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot? A: The thought had never entered his head before? Q: If Goliath is resurrected, would you like to tell him the joke about David and Goliath? A: No, he already fell for it once. Q: Why did Paul tell Timothy to take just a little wine for the sake of his stomach? A: Because it was Paul's bottle. Q: What is the best way to get to Paradise? A: Turn right and go straight. Q: Why won't we drink milk in the new world? A: Because, at Armageddon, there will be udder destruction. Q: Why shouldn't Christians watch TV? A: At the transfiguration, Jesus said, "Tell the vision to no one." Q: Who was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? A: Moses, because he broke all 10 commandments at once. Q: Who was known as a Mathematician in the Bible? A: Moses, he wrote the book of Numbers. Q: Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy? A: The area around the Jordan, the banks were always overflowing. Q: How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? A: Because Job 16:12, 14, 16 says, "I had come to be at ease, but he proceeded to shake me up: and he grabbed me by the back of the neck and proceeded to smash me." Q: Will there be dogs in the new system? A: No, 2 Peter 3:14 tells us that we will be without spot. Q: Who was the straightest man in the bible? A: Joseph, because the Pharaoh made him a ruler.