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How does one trust again

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How does one trust again
How does one learn to trust your husband again, after he has been involved in a series of so-called 'inocent friendships' with four single (widowed) women, to the extent that he was always talking to them and going over to them while neglecting me.



This went on for more than four years, during which time he kept assuring me that there was nothing wrong with these friendships and that men could be friends with other women as long as no sex was involved.



He said he felt sympathy for them as they were lonely and felt he needed to reach out to them. This reaching out entailed him talking to them by himself, and even leaving me alone at church functions. I felt humiliated and neglected, also because he didn't feel that he needed to acknowledge me in public. He told me that I'd have to get used to it as he had no intention of breaking off those friendships.



However, only after I'd been to three different counsellors did he agree to stop being so friendly to them and going out of his way to be with them. But, unfortunately I didn't see a big difference straight away as those women kept on and still do keep coming over to us with the express intention of talking to him. Usually they hardly even speak to me. I can see that they like talking to him and don't even try to hide that he's the main focus of their conversations.



He has (momentarily) admitted to me that he enjoys the admiration he gets from them and that's why I think it's so hard for him to forego their attention, even though I've always (for the past 41 years) been a loving and caring wife for him, it seems that that will never be enough for him.



He seems to need this other attention to boost his self-esteem and ego, no matter how much it hurts our marriage. I must add that this behaviour only started to manifest itself four and a half years ago, and I can honestly say, I was never the jealous type in all those years.