http://www.praize.com/forums/ en-us no-reply@praize.com Thu, 23 May 2013 20:51:01 GMT Gossamer Forum by Gossamer Threads, Inc. http://www.rssboard.org/rss-specification http://www.praize.com/forum/icons/gforum-logo.png http://www.praize.com/forums/ 50 50 http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Satan's_Layaway_Plan_P119073/?page=unread#119073 Here is Satan's layaway plan: sin now, pay later. Craig Dressler http://christianbook2.webs.com/ cb260e7f12159e9b937747cec9006b8e Mar 7, 2013, 11:14 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Sign_Outside_Local_Church_Says..._P118908/?page=unread#118908 Driving by a local church one day I noticed the following posted: "Eternity, smoking or nonsmoking." Craig Dressler http://christianbook2.webs.com/ 3a71a019f0e43e58f6f59b4ed97deab0 Jan 16, 2013, 11:14 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_%5Bnikos%5D_Smile_Awhile_%3A)_P115704/?page=unread#115704 Cute!!! Blessings ~ Sarah dd685f98fedc075ccd2291ca1da08711 Aug 23, 2011, 8:22 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Smile_Awhile_%3A)_P115699/?page=unread#115699 Two factory workers are talking.Woman: I can make the boss give me the day off. Man: And how would you do that? Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. ... Boss comes in: What are you doing? Woman: I’m a light bulb. Boss: You’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off.The man starts to follow her and the boss says: Where are you going? The man says: I’m going home, too. I can’t work in the dark. ______________________ 8010c9f8a7f2c77d9e3209311e8d3bfc Aug 22, 2011, 5:45 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_%5BReg_Sargent%5D_Moses_at_the_Airport_P115505/?page=unread#115505 hahaha! that's really funny. 5d0682d2d575b35a015e9d5049cbcbb3 Jul 1, 2011, 12:58 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/My_Dog_Cat_P82891/?page=unread#82891 Shalom, My dog & Cat sleeps about 20 hours a day. They have food prepared for them. They can eat whenever they want, 24/7/365. their meals are provided at no cost to him. They visit the Dr. once a year for their checkup, and again during the year if any medical needs arise. For this they pay nothing and nothing is required of them. They live in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than they need, but they are not required to do any upkeep. If they make a mess, someone else cleans it up. They have their choice of luxurious places to sleep. They receive these accommodations absolutely free. They are living like a king & Queen, and have absolutely no expenses whatsoever. All of their costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day. I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me like a brick in the head, Holy Cow! My dog & cat are Democrats! OOPS ! 0 Jan 29, 2010, 3:34 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_The_Atheist_in_the_Forest_P16169/?page=unread#16169 hahaha "bless this meal" :-DDDD 0 Dec 1, 2009, 5:41 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_Bank_robberies_through_drive-thru_P82011/?page=unread#82011 A light good humour to enjoy with and the best part of this forum is u can allow your kids to surf through it fearlessly as it is clean from every kind of wrong and bad. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Jacob Christmas Puzzle 0 Oct 27, 2009, 6:23 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Bank_robberies_through_drive-thru_P82010/?page=unread#82010 My conclusion is that all lawbreakers aren't really that smart at all. Here's one for ya: At a bank one day, a man came through the drive-thru part. He pulled out a check and wrote on it "GIVE ME MONEY I HAVE A GUN" and sent it in. It was returned quickly. Frustrated, the robber wrote on another check saying "I REALLY DO HAVE A GUN GIVE ME MONEY". It was returned as well. Angry, the robber had to make sure that the teller knew he had a gun, so he sent that in. He didn't get it back. During all this, the teller had called the police and had him arrested. Another one, fairly similer happened as well. A robber drove up to a bank and wrote on a deposite slip "give me money i have a gun". But the reply from the teller was "I'm sorry this paper is for the bank down the street. You'll have to go there to rob them." Frustrated, the robber went on his way to the other bank, only to be greeted by some policemen. LOL .:Moviemaker95:. 0 Jul 23, 2009, 10:32 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Government_Farm_Visit_P82004/?page=unread#82004 A cocky Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a farm and talked with the old farmer; "I need to inspect your farm." The old farmer said, "You better not go in that field." The Agriculture representative said in a "wise" tone, "I have the authority of the U. S. Government with me. See this card, I am allowed to go wherever I wish on agricultural land." So the old farmer went about his farm chores. Later, the farmer heard loud screams and saw the Department of Agriculture man running for the fence; close behind was the farmer's prize bull. The bull was madder than a nest full of hornets, and the bull was gaining at every step. "Help," the rep shouted to the farmer, "what should I do?" he screamed helplessly. The old farmer, hooking his thumbs in his overalls, called out: "Show him your card!" 0 Jul 14, 2009, 8:17 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/The_Atheist_in_the_Forest_P16168/?page=unread#16168 An atheist was strolling through a forest, enjoying nature's beauty. The trees waved in the wind, the brook trickled, the birds chirped. All of a sudden, a terrifying grizzly bear jumped out into the atheist's path. As it raised its paw, ready to strike, the man cried, "Oh, my God! HELP!" At that moment the grizzly froze. The air stood deathly still, the brook stopped trickling and the birds' chirps were cut short. A grand light appeared before the man and a voice rumbled, "Why do you only acknowledge me at the moment before you die? Your whole life I've sent message after message to you to try and have you believe me, and now you can only take my Name in vain?" "I'm sorry, God!" said the man. "Forgive me--- but please, just make this bear a Christian!" To the man's surprise, the Lord said, "Very well", and the light disappeared. The wind commenced to blow, the brook began to trickle, and the birds began to chirp. And the bear immediately withdrew his paw from the baffled atheist. Stranger still, the bear clasped his paws together and said, "Dear Lord, bless this meal..." 0 Apr 22, 2009, 1:33 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Jar_47_P81358/?page=unread#81358 A new doctor had arrived in town. He could cure anything and anybody. Everyone was amazed with what he could do - everyone except for Mr. Thompson, the town skeptic. Grumpy old Mr. Thompson went to visit this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. When it was time for his appointment he told the doctor, "Hey, doc, I've lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothin', so what are ya goin' to do?" The doctor scratched his head and mumbled to himself a little, then told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47." So the doctor brought the jar out, opened it, and told Mr. Thompson to taste it. He tasted it and immediately spit it out, "This is gross!" he yelled. "Looks like I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Thompson," said the doctor. So Mr. Thompson went home.... very mad. One month later, Mr. Thompson decides to go back to the doctor and try once again to expose him as a fake, by complaining of a new problem. "Doc," he started, "I can't remember anything!" Thinking he had the doctor stumped now, he waited as the doctor scratched his head, mumbled to himself a little, and told Mr. Thompson, "What you need is jar number 47, it's......" But before the doctor could finish his sentence, Mr.Thompson was cured and fled the room! 0 Mar 11, 2009, 10:26 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Guard_Dog_P80930/?page=unread#80930 Tim, who is a mechanic, does work for the Air Force Academy. One day, a guard asked, "Mind if our new guard dog practices sniffing your truck? Tim obliged and the dog went to work. Almost immediately, it latched onto a scent and jumped into the truck bed sniffing furiously. Tim became nervous. There were no drugs or weapons. What could the dog be after? A few minutes later, the guard approached Tim. "Sorry," he said sheepishly, "our dog ate your lunch." 0 Jan 14, 2009, 11:06 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Brave_Firefighters_P80365/?page=unread#80365 A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out. The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts. The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire department's work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That should be obvious," he responded, "the first thing we're gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck. 0 Oct 8, 2008, 10:39 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Parking_Solutions_P80315/?page=unread#80315 A pastor of a two-church parish had to drive every Sunday morning about 4 miles from the 9:30 service at one church to the 11 o'clock at the other. He would often find the parking lot of the second church full, and be forced to park down the road and race to the church on foot. The problem was finally solved when he selected a parking spot near the side door of the church and posted a sign that read, "You Park - You Preach." 0 Sep 29, 2008, 11:23 AM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/A_cool_Youtube_clip_about_Jerusalem_P80246/?page=unread#80246 Hi, I used to live in Jerusalem and I just love this city - it is authentic, has the best weather, and offers a great deal of attractions for every taste. As you may know, the city has made some progress tour-wise, and there are quite a few new places to visit while touring Jerusalem. Anyway - for all of you who visit Jerusalem on a frequent basis, and also for those who plan a trip to Jerusalem in the near future, I'd like to introduce you to a new cool Youtube clip, featuring some of the places for the first time: http://www.youtube.com/wa[...]ExQAXQs Hope you find it useful and fun to watch, Olga 0 Sep 16, 2008, 9:13 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_Moses_at_the_Airport_P61196/?page=unread#61196 DITTO ON THAT ... very funny! 0 Jul 27, 2008, 7:39 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_jokes_P14789/?page=unread#14789 Aye, friends ... but it made you look, right? Wonderful play on scripture; and humorous too! Love it ... Rosebud 0 Jul 27, 2008, 7:26 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_THE_END_IS_NEAR_P65553/?page=unread#65553 This reminds me of how we tend to complicate things too much, especially when we are trying to share the gospel. The gospel is really very simple and we should keep it that way ... Rosebud JOHN 3:16 "For GOD so loved the world (meaning you and me), that he gave His only begotten son (JESUS), that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." 0 Jul 27, 2008, 7:14 PM http://www.praize.com/forums/Fun_Entertainment_C11/Jokes_Humour_F63/Re%3A_Bible_sales_campaign_P79794/?page=unread#79794 Ah ... that's really cute, Alice; my DH will love it too as he has had a speech impedement most of his life, although God has been gracious, and he is much better now. Thanks for sharing this ... Rosebud 0 Jul 27, 2008, 7:00 PM