I’m all churched out, hurt and abused.
This us a statement in the song, “Take Me to the King” by Tamela Mann.
It makes me wonder about the reasons that people go to church or don't. Let's discuss this. What do you expect from your "church"? I certainly don't expect to be hurt and abused! But if I am, is that their fault or mine? Can I grow from this experience? I look forward to your input on this.
Blessings ~ Sarah

I attend church very infrequently Sarah. That's mostly because most preachers are giving salvation messages apparently not understanding that their job is to train the congregation to do the evangelizing. Both in Sunday school and in the main service the teaching should be designed to educate the Believer NOT save the lost (who shouldn't be in there in the first place). In the New Testament the churches addressed were bodies of Believers. The lost were evangelized outside the bodies. Also many churches use "praise and worship" music, most of which I've never heard, which doesn't cut it for me. (Bring back the Maranatha Singer's songs for me). So my wife and I have our Bible study at home and we live just two doors from our daughter, who is a committed Believer, and we enjoy talking spiritual matters with her and her family. But, believe it or not, I also looking for a church where I can enjoy the service. My wife is currently involved in a church of the type I mentioned above.

Have you checked out Keith Moore, Faith Life Church? His teachings are on Praize home page. Try him... you might like it. :)
Thanks for your opinion.
Blessings ~ Sarah

Sarah :

What do you expect from your "church"?

Pres. John Kennedy said something along these lines about serving your country. Perhaps the same applies to 'Church'.

"Ask not what can your church do for you, ask what you can do for God's church."

I certainly don't expect to be hurt and abused!

Unfortunately it does happen, particularly in 'churches' that are high on evangelism but low on pastoral care.

But if I am, is that their fault or mine?

What an interesting question! Learning can come about through many an uncomfortable experience. According to scripture "tribulation worketh patience". I was once told by a wise old lady, "Never pray for patience my boy, pray for 'Grace" to endure. When you pray for 'patience' you'll get tribulation to give you some practice at it. Churches are often the very places and communities which help knock the 'rough edges' off of us and make us into 'rounded' individuals. Learning how to get along with other 'sinners' is what sanctification is most about. 'Beware of the bread of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.'

Sometimes those most inclined to be critical of 'churches' are the very ones who make 'churches' uncomfortable places for imperfect people to be members of. Have you ever noticed that the things we hate most in others are often the most deeply ingrained 'faults' in ourselves?

Can I grow from this experience?

Almost certainly! Churches NEED people who are mature and wise servants of The Lord, who know how to 'roll with the punches' and 'bide their time', knowing that 'truth will win the day, eventually'.

Regards Chris.

Hi, Chris,
I like that:
"Ask not what can your church do for you, ask what you can do for God's church." Most of us go to church with expectations, and when they are not met, we get disappointed and often discouraged and figure it is time to switch churches, instead of allowing ourselves to learn and grow through the situation. That is simply immaturity. All the more reason to be in church. :)

No one ever expects to be hurt... in church or out. But people IN church are the same ones that are outside church the rest of the week. And most of the time, I do not believe people deliberately set out to hurt one another. I believe it is usually a thoughtless comment, and we need to learn to be prompt forgivers! Bill Gothard in his Basic Youth Conflicts used to talk about our "Source of Irritation". Because that is what causes us to grow. I had a student in Christian school that used to tease me that he was my "source of irritations". lol

Can I grow from this experience? I think I'd better! If I don't, I will be allowed to go through it again and again until I get it right. :(

So have I answered my own questions? I hope some others will give opinions on this subject.
Blessings ~ Sarah

There are already two threads in which I have posted on this subject. The first one is my own, in which I link to the second one, where the OP was asking about the different denominations.

http://www.praize.com/...a_church%3F_P115334/

http://www.praize.com/...20to%20church#p84440

At the present time, my wife and myself are not attending any churches on a regular basis, and we feel that we do not need to, provided we remain faithful to Jesus, pray together in our own home or in the company of any visitors we entertain, and continue to study the Bible. We listen to, and sometimes join in with church music (hymn singing, gospel, etc.) from the TV, disc, or U-Tube music. I visit this site (and other Christian websites), my wife is more occupied talking with friends and family, often uplifting them spiritually.

In my thread linked above, (I will not repeat here my views on local established churches - ICs - institutional churches in home-church parlance) one poster suggested that the only way we would find a sutiable church would be to start our own, or to go to a country where Christians are persecuted. I think those suggestions make very good sense, unfortunately we are now in our 70s and therefore probably beyond those sorts of ventures!

We are not against attending any church service, but would expect to be challenged in our thinking, to be spiritually uplifted, and to come away perhaps with the feeling that we might like to return to become a regular attender and member. Regrettably, that last criterion is never met. Waiting for God (Godot?) to direct us in what we are doing, in the Holy Name of Jesus. God bless.

I think 'wolviene' has an excellent point, (first link in previous post), when he says :

You ask a very important question. How necessary is it to go to a church? Well there are two reasons to go; interaction and involvement.

Many young and inexperienced 'believers' and even quite mature ones, fail to understand that Church Membership is a two way street.

God does not graft us into His 'Church' just so we can enjoy the benefits of 'salvation' and all that it entails. God also presents each one of US as a 'gift' to His Church. Our God given 'gifts' are intended to be deployed within a 'church' context. We are 'bricks' built into a 'structure', not just free standing 'pillars of wisdom'.

If our unique 'gifts', (particularly discernment, healing, leadership, teaching, organizing etc.), are not properly deployed and utilized within a 'faith community', then they are being under utilized or even going to waste altogether, as far as God's Church is concerned.

Having said that, perhaps it is also true that the majority of 'churches' do not recognize and utilize the 'ministries' in the pews, but think that only 'full time' leadership can claim a God ordained 'vocation'.

How many churches have you known where the ordinary congregation is under utilized to the general detriment of the overall 'experience' of being personally involved in the missionary purpose of God's church on earth?

Regards Chris.

Hi, Chris...
Mystic's thread was excellent. I just wasn't smart enough to find it and continue it. My bad!!! :)
Your points are excellent also. Anyone who has the "baptism of the Holy Spirit" is qualified to use the various gifts of the Spirit to pray for and encourage one another.

I believe that often when people are uneducated in the gifts, they either are afraid to ask someone in the congregation to pray for them or advise them and feel that only the "Ministers" are qualified. This situation can also be laid at the feet of the head of each church as the bottom line is it falls to them to be teaching the "power in the pews". Often pastors are threatened by this possibility. I remember, many years ago, casting demons out of a young woman and she was set free. I did not ask the pastor's permission, and never knew what he thought, but she was delivered!

I'm not even sure today how many theological programs in college teach deliverence. It was an integral part of Jesus' mnistry, and should be an every day part of ours... especially these days as life is becoming more difficult. If we don't walk with Him, with whom are we walking?
Blessings ~ Sarah

"Therein lies the rub"!

I cannot think of a single church or denomination which hasn't simply treated me as merely a bottom on a seat, from the large congregations of cathedral services and mega-churches to a small supposedly home church run by a local person who merely preaches/teaches from the front (max. 30 persons present at any one meeting). My attempts and suggestions in this meeting to run it on more informal grounds (as with home-church activities described on HC websites) have not been welcomed by him.

As a professional teacher I know the value of breaking up large meetings into smaller discussion groups. Not that I expect this to happen with a large congregation at an established church, but the sermon there should never be longer than half an hour at the most and should be informative and inspirational. The whole service can of course be longer, and as any good teacher knows, the other activities need to be varied and involving.

Institutional churches just do not seem to operate this way. Most of them only want tithes, and generous offerings in the collection plate. No thankyou, I would sooner pay for a good inspirational concert or film, and give directly to local needy causes.

Many thanks for appreciating my earlier thread, Sarah! God bless.

I think the problem of people not being "utilized" by the church they attend is two-fold... Either we are not called upon or we do not step up and volunteer. At one church we attended for a number of years, I started several different ministries and once they were rolling, I turned them over to capable people. At another church (I was in my sixties) I volunteered to work in the office... I didn't care what, I was willing to lick and stamp envelopes, But felt I was called to office work as I had done it for years. They called me and wanted me to work on the flowers crew, and quite frankly, I didn't have the energy to do that. They never allowed me to do anything else. :( Their loss.

But I think I am a little off the OP here. The statement in the song was "I’m all churched out, hurt and abused." That really sounds to me like when Joyce Meyers says, "It's all about me! It's all about me! It's all about me!"

However, I think in all the situations I am talking about, people are not realizing that Christ live IN us. We are here so that He can live His live out through us. Let's get over ourselves and allow Jesus to walk His walk in us!
Blessings ~ Sarah

We also have church at home Chaplain Bob, and that is because we feel that the churches provide very little in the way of "meat" type teaching. We have visited just about every church in our area, looking hard for one that will preach something other than "gospel lite" which says, oh, God loves you as you are, we ASSUME that you are all saved, let's sing some rockin' praise songs, say how great God is and change NOTHING about our lives. At "Easter time" (Resurrection Sunday) and Good Friday, nobody even bothered to examine themselves before they took communion, and pastors in several churches simply exhorted their members to just go home and literally to go back to shopping and their "Hummers"!!

THIS the modern Gospel, Praise the Lord and pass the Neiman-Marcus shopping bag! And to me it is no longer a joke! It is disgusting in the uttermost... we are pitiable, poor, blind and NAKED, and utterly putrid in the sight of God!! So we worship at home and desperately pray for repentance, restoration and revival in our country!

I am looking for like-minded warfare Pray-ers to join me over at OriginalMamaGrizzly.com

I am the one who cried out to God during Katrina, asking God to discipline our nation so that we would not be judged.

Please join me in our podcasts and let us unite in prayer for TRUE revival and godliness in our nation!

(I could use the support... we have had incredible opposition even from our immediate next door neighbors, who even threatened us with a gun! Thanks in advance!)