Estrangement by Adult Children of their Parent(s)
To my knowledge there is on one here on Praize that knows me. I apologize in advance for the length of this post however I simply want to bring awareness of the
"silent epidemic." Those of you reading this have no idea of the daily heartache within me. The reason was something I would have bet my life would never happen to me - Never. But the reality is it did happen to me and I am not alone - it is becomimg an epidemic. Thousands perhaps millions of parents across the world are members of a group they would never have chosen "Parents abandonded/estranged/shunned by their adult children."
We are parents who continue to love our children and most of us would welcome our adult children a part of our lives again, but with caution and some boundaries. We are parents who are not, nor were drug users, alcoholics or abusive to our children. We are parents who did the best we knew raising our children. We are parents who in most situations do not know why this happened.
We are grandparents who in many cases are not allowed to see or be with our grandchildren. Most of us grandparents did have a great deal of interaction with our grandchildren until for whatever reason(s) their parent(s) decided to punish us and the children by refusing to let us be a part of the grandchildren's lives any longer. Some of us are able to see pictures on FB until the parent decided to block us.
I have been without my adult children, all daughters, for 6 1/2 years, 11 months after their Dad, my husband of 45 yrs died and my youngest grandchild who is now 13. Two of my six grandchildren have been a part of my life because my son-in-law would not allow their daughters to be a part of this estrangement. Three are in their 20s have chosen recently to be a part of Gramma's life.
There is nothing more painful and heartbreaking for a parent(s) to experience than abandoment by an adult child(ren). If you choose to judge and believe "there must have been something terrible the parent(s) have done - first, this is not the case with 99% of parents and certainly was not in my case and second please walk in my shoes and the thousands of other parents' shoes before making a judgment.
I am a Christian woman who loves the Lord and lean on Him to walk with me all these years. One night on my knees in prayer and tears I asked God "what do you want me to do about this estrangement?" He spoke to me after a few minutes "Be Still and Know That I am God." Probably most of the people on Praize have experineced God speaking to them many times, however this was the first time in my life I knew, that I knew that God had spoken to me. Jesus reached down in the throws of the hell I believed I was living, took my hand and has never let go. It is because of Him I am on this earth as I really did not want to live since everyone I loved dearly was taken from me. - my husband to death and my daughters as my "living losses" and some of my grandchildren with whom I had been a part of their lives at their Moms request and theirs until their Moms decided to punish me for reasons I do not know.
If there is anyone reading this or if you know of anyone suffering in silence experiencing abandoments/estrangement/shunning by their adult children please encourage them to email me at email@example.com or the email on Praize and I will share with them how I have gotten to peace even without my adult children in my life.
I look forward to comments and communication of this topic of adult chidren estranging from their parents.
About: My husband of 45 years died November 20, 2010. We have 3 daughters, 2 sons-in-law, one grandson and 5 granddaughters. The live in the midwest. I married again 4/28/2016 and now live in Fairfield Glade, TN. Now have a home on Lake Catherine and love looking out at the lake as I am on Praize.com I love to crochet, sew and quilt in addition to gardening. We have 2 bird feeders and so enjoy watching the birds visit our yard all year. Since my late husband died Nov. 10, 2010 the Holy spirit convicted me to develop a closer relationship with Jesus and the Holy Spirit. After my daughters walked away from me 9 months after my husband's death Jesus reached down took my hand and has never let go. He comforted me when the tears would not stop, He sat beside me when I did not have the will to live; I asked Him to please take all this away - He did not but he has given me the grace and strength to move forward with my life without my daughters. The Lord has brought me an amazing Christian man who loves the Lord. We met on christian mingle.com. We were spirit connected first. The Lord has given me a wonderful new family who have included me and love me. I will always miss my daughters and pray for them everyday. I ask the Holy spirit to break the walls around their hearts where their Mother is. One day there will be a healing between us. Until then I begin my day with "thank you Lord for one day closer to a healing between my daughtes and myself. I have 6 grandchildren - 5 of whom I continue to have contact with and my two sons-in-law have been very supportive of me these past 6 years. Sometimes in life there just are no answers as to why a devastating situation such as being abandoned by your adult children occurs.Back to Blog | Add to Buddy List