The little things...
It amazes me how much the little things can affect us in life. How the smallest things can mean so much. Last night I was looking forward to spending my birthday with my parents. Mom called last night to tell me we'd be eating at 3 because my father made plans to go to a game. I realize at 46 this may seem odd but, I never had a very close relationship with my father. Over the years my brother hasn't been part of my life at all and lately dad has been leaving holiday and family dinners to go do something else. Today in particular it hurts more than ever. When I was in volleyball in school my folks never came to my games. Yet, dad is going to go watch his neices ball game today and leaving right after we eat. I've been in his life for 46 yrs. and he wants to go sit and watch a ball game of someone he really doesn't know for a brother who doesn't really love him. Since becoming a Christian I lost all my friends and I can't share my faith with anyone I know too much because I don't even have any Christian friends. Around here the only time the Christians will be your friend is if you're going to their church. Outside of church, they don't bother with you. So today I'm reading a devotional that says this:
"Here is the thing you have to acknowledge. Whatever you have given up, hasn't God made it up to you? You gave up a few friends. Hasn't He given you better friends in their place?"
I honestly would have to say no. So, I don't know if this is something that's coming yet or what. I'm hurt and confused. The only good thing is that He is always here to comfort me when I'm lonely or sad like this so, I know I will feel better. I just have to deal with today.
This is partly why I come to these message boards. It's nice to have others to share my faith with and fellowship with a bit.
Thanks for being here.