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Fri, Feb 13 2009 - 06:59 PM

Change Me...

I recently completed the 21 day Daniel Fast.  No meat, no bread, no sugar--just fruits, veggies, brown rice and water pretty much.   My purpose in doing the fast was to pray for specific things--mostly regarding my family and particular situations that I want to change.  I was also praying for my finances, my ministry desires, my career desires and for the ability to discern God's voice so that I could know what to do and when to do it. 

Essentially, I was praying for change all around me and praying for direction on what "to do next" to change my situation in an effort to chase the dreams that God gave me a couple of years ago. 

About 3/4 of the way through the fast, God sent a special message to me through a very special friend.  I had sent her an email venting and whining about my work situation and financial situation and family "worries" etc.  It was a pity party and invited her to join me since no one else would come! : - )

Anyway, this very special friend (Lucy--who blogs here sometimes) sent me a prayer suggestion that just completely changed my whole thought process and turned my prayer fast into a whole new direction!  Bottom line (the short version)--I had to stop asking God to change things that He was not ready to change and ask Him to CHANGE ME!

Light bulbs came on in my brain!  I had an "ah-hah" moment.  I felt like a burden had been lifted.  It was almost funny!  I was praying and praying and praying for things to "change" and they weren't.  I was getting tired and weary.  I was frustrated.  I knew these things were Godly and I just never considered the fact that God just wasn't going to do it because it wasn't in His timing.  I just kept "begging".

But when I saw her words, I knew instantly that she was EXACTLY right.  I knew it was a message from God.  He answered my prayer to discern His voice and His voice was telling me that for the time being I needed to stop worrying about my situations changing and just focus on allowing Him to change me in the midst of those situations! 

I will share the prayer that I've been praying pretty much every day since I got Lucy's email:  

Lord,

I don't like my job.  I am not happy with the corporate world or the position I have been placed in, but I have to work and I thank you for blessing me with a good paying job that helps provide for me and my family.  

Since I cannot seem to do anything to enable myself to do the things I want to do--like own my own business, spend time writing and doing what I love, will you please help me to start loving what I do? 

I cannot change my situation and if you choose not to change my situation right now, will you please change me!  Let me find contentment wherever I am and whatever I am doing.  Help me to be submissive to you and just let you "drive".

If we go through valleys, help me to look forward to the mountain tops.  If we go through fire, help me to have hope that I will one day get out of the heat.  If we go through deep waters, help me to know and be assured that I will NOT drown because You are driving and You cannot be destroyed!

I'm not giving up on my dreams, but I am willing to get there Your way and Your time instead of according to my own time table, because I know that You know best. 

Today, annoint my feet to walk where you want me to walk.  Annoint my hands to do what you want me to do, my mouth to say what you want me to say and annoint my ears to hear You when you speak to me.   I trust You as my Good Shepherd. 

Help me to always remember.....I am not God.  You are! LOrd, just please change me to be the person that you want me to be!   Amen.

This whole "Change Me" concept has been on my mind a lot.  I wrote a little song/chorus about it that I've been singing in my car when I am alone.....  It goes like this:  

Change Me--by Brandi

Change me, change me.  Oh, Lord change me.  I don't want to be the old me.  My circumstances, they stay.  I can't pray them away.  But I can pray that you change me. 

Change me, change me.  Oh, Lord change me.  I don't want to be the old me.  When things don't go my way.  I can't pray them that way.  But I can pray that you change me. 

Lord, I need a change.  Please make a change.  Lord, won't you please change me.  Yes, I need a change.  I want a change.  Lord, please won't you just change me.   

It is my "prayer song" to God.  I am grateful to Lucy for sharing God's heart with me and helping me to realize what I really needed to be asking for.

In addition to my prayer and song, here are some verses I've been meditating on:

For the Lord will NOT reject His people.  He will NEVER forsake His inheritance.  Psalm 94:14

May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us--Yes, establish the work of our hands.  Psalm 90:17

He stilled the storm to a whisper, the waves of the sea were hushed.  They were glad when it grew calm and He guided them to their DESIRED haven.  Psalm 107:29-30 (This is one of my very favorite scriptures!)

No matter what our circumstances are, God has not forgotten us and He will never forsake us.  We ask for His favor and we desire to do His will and good works.  We should pray that He establish the work of our hands--not that He give in to what we "think" the work of our hands should be right at this moment.  

Finally, no matter what storm(s) we are facing, God will eventually "still the waves" and bring calm again.  He will guide us to our DESIRED havens and Godly dreams.  

He will look at us and say, "What was the problem?  Why so little faith?  I had you in my grip througout the entire storm.  It just wasn't time yet. Now, it is time.  Enjoy your dream!"  I bet it will be even better than we could have imagined and certainly better than it would be had we worked on our own time table! 

My prayer will continue to be that He just change me........

Brandi  

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Name: worknmom

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About: I am a married, working mother with 2 children a daughter age 17 and a son age 14. I have a passion for writing and feel led to work with pre-teen girls. I blog mostly about my spiritual journey as I seek God's perfect will for my life.

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