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Sun, Aug 24 2008 - 04:30 PM

Cover Me in Prayer

For a long time, I've felt that God wants me to start or be involved with a ministry for girls with special focus on those age 11 -13.  It has gently tugged at my heart for a couple of years.  It intensified when my own daughter experienced some of Satan's attacks--and still does today. 
Lately, especially the last few months, I have had this overwhelming need and intense feeling of wanting to do something but not sure what.  And, of course, Satan has placed many distractions before me--my job, my family, worries, stress, weight gain and general busy-ness. 
 
I have no idea what my next step should be but in church today I felt like I was going to come out of my skin. The Holy Spirit was present as always but He was active and moving in my heart today. I wanted to go to the alter and just throw myself down--completely broken, completely open.  Tears flooded my cheeks.  But, I didn't move.  I stood there with my arms raised up prayed. 
Then, I was distracted from praying for me and I instead prayed for my children who were there next to me.  I prayed that they might feel the pull of God.  I prayed for their faith and happiness.  I prayed for my Mom that she might get over her negativity and depression.  I want so much for them to be close to God, to chose Him, to honor Him to go hard after Him.  I want it so much that I lose focus of my own calling and my own spiritual need. 
 
I cry as a write this because I so want my family to be a family united in Christ-- joyful, peaceful and always eager to serve Him as a family.  I want my kids to shine for Him.  I want them to dare to be different.  Even though I know they love the Lord, they say I am "preachy" .  I want my husband to be more than just an intellectual believer.  I want HIm to trust the Lord fully and completely and be dedicated to serving Him.  I'm trying too hard, I know.  I cannot draw them to God.  God has to draw them, but somehow it is hard for me to move forward when I want that so much. 
 
I need prayer to help me discern the voice of God and to know my next step(s).  I know that God has promised that none of my steps will slide if I trust Him, but I have no idea where to step.   I feel like I could do so much more if work were not in the way, but I cannot leave my job.  My husband would never support it and truly, truly the facts say we could not survive.  
 
So, Satan distracts me with the facts-- I have no time.  I have no money.  My own kids need my attention.  My family needs me.  My husband wants me to stay at home more.  My job is very demanding.  I need to lose weight.  I need to cook healthier but have no time.  I joined the gym but when will I go?  
 
Yet, I feel God's call. I have to do something or I'll go crazy.  I feel like I am going to cry all the time.  I cannot stop worrying about my kids.  I have this edgy, agitated feeling.  I'm not content because I don't think I am doing what God is calling me to do but I  just don't know where to start or what to do.  I don't know how to fit it in.  I'm not sure I even really know how to pray about it.
 
So, I am calling in prayer warriors as I have done many times before. Please cover me in prayer for the next few days as I earnestly seek God's guidance in this matter. 
 
I will be blessed just knowing that you are praying for me.   
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Name: worknmom

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About: I am a married, working mother with 2 children a daughter age 17 and a son age 14. I have a passion for writing and feel led to work with pre-teen girls. I blog mostly about my spiritual journey as I seek God's perfect will for my life.

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