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Fri, Sep 28 2007 - 07:46 PM

Not Qualified

Often I write about the things God is doing in my life or when a particular verse has really spoken to me.  Today, I don't feel "qualifed" to write at all.

I'll whine for a moment.  I've had a couple of bad days.  Some of my old worry habits have kicked it.  I've been very stressed at work.  I've let myself start to feel sad and overwhelmed.  When that happens, I lose my focus.  I start getting confused and playing things over and over in my head.  I try too hard.  I just plain feel bad--like I want to crawl in the bed, pull the blanket over my head, and cry myself to sleep.  

Not how I want to be.  Definitely not how God wants me to be! I am sure He is right here beside me saying,  "Brandi, what are you so worried about?  I'm right here.  Seriously, I've got it.  No need for you to worry." 

I am sure He is hurt and disappointed.  I am disappointed in myself.  I let my eyes drift from Him and onto the world and my surroundings.  I didn't mean to.  I didn't even consciously realize that I was doing it until I got that overwhelmed feeling.  

The ironic thing is... He never once took His eyes off of me or the people I worry about or the job I stress about.   He doesn't "go away" when I get distracted and look the other way. 

When I was a small child, my Mom said that I would close my eyes and cover them with my hands and say..."now, you can't see me!"   I guess in a sense, that is how it feels when I am not looking at God.  I figure He cannot see me either and so I feel overwhelmed and alone. 

Thankfully, that is not the case.  He is right there beside me (and you) saying, "Here I am, take my hand.  You accidentally let it go."

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty..... Psalm 91:1 

He tends His flock like a shepherd.  He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart.  Isaiah 40:11

Prayer:  Lord, please forgive me for falling back into my worrying, stressing, fretting way.  Forgive me for not being able to quickly let it go and release it all to You.  Help me to refocus my eyes on You.  Help me to never forget that You have "it" all in Your hands and You are holding mine at the same time.  Please bring me Your Peace that surpasses even my own understanding.  Thank you for the work you are doing in me and my family.  Thank you for all of the special people in my life--family, old friends, new friends and faraway friends.  May our lights always shine for you. 

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Name: worknmom

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About: I am a married, working mother with 2 children a daughter age 17 and a son age 14. I have a passion for writing and feel led to work with pre-teen girls. I blog mostly about my spiritual journey as I seek God's perfect will for my life.

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