Praize Blogs

Our family watched the Passion of the Christ last night.  I don't even know the right words to describe the impact the movie had on me.  As I watched the way they tortured Jesus and the physical and emotional anguish he was going through, tears streamed down my face.  I prayed silently, Thank You, Jesus.  I had no idea what you really went through.  I knew you died a horrible death but the reality just wasn't there for me.  I am so sorry.  I can't believe it you did it for us, for me.  My heart ached to think about the pain He felt and how hurt He must have been to be ridiculed and hated by those that He love so much.  I don't think I'll ever forget it.  I didn't sleep well.  I couldn't get it off of my mind.  The cost of our salvation is much greater than I ever imagined.  

Praise God that "Friday" is over and Sunday is here! 

After we got in from church today and had our lunch.  My 12 your old son struck up a conversation about the movie.  He is an analyzer my nature.  He thinks things through-- too much sometimes.  He doesn't mind asking questions and this was no different! 

He said, "Mom, there are some things about the movie that I don't understand.  I have a few questions. "  I said, "Like what?"  And the fun began....... Who was Pilate?  I never heard about him?  Why didn't King Herod kill Jesus?  He wanted to kill him when he was a baby.  Why did Judas kiss Jesus, was he saying he was sorry?  Was Jesus' brother one of his disciples?  Did all of the disciples deny Jesus like Peter did?  Why was Jesus afraid of dying?  I thought he was always calm and never afraid of anything.  I thought he knew he was going to die.   Did God plan for Jesus to die?  What is God?  I mean is He a person or an angel or what?  I don't get it.  How was God always here? I mean, that is weird.  I know it is true but I just can't figure it out.  It sounds weird when you say it.  Why do we say that there is one God but other people say Gods.  Why did Jesus only have scars on his hands when He rose from the dead?  Why didn't He have scars from where they beat Him?  How long did Jesus stay befor he ascended into Heaven.  How old was Jesus when He knew He had to die?  Did Mary and JOseph know?  Why do some people not believe in God?  Are we Methodist or Baptist?  My freind says he is "nothing".  Do you think his parents are Christian?     (Believe it not there were more!)

I answered his questions to the best of my ability.  Some of them were tough!  He asked me why God made us.  I told him that God made us to praise and worship Him and to have a relationship with Him and that we all have a purpose.  He said, Yeah, Mom, how do you figure out your purpose?  I mean can you just pray about it and God will tell you and you'll just know. 

I said, well, yes, that might work.  But, usually you can tell your pupose by how God made you.  He made you, Zachary, to look a certain way, to think a certain way and to love certain things.  Usually, if you think about the things you love you'll figure out your purpose or at least part of it.

He said, I love dirtbikes.  I said, and football.  He said, so God wants me to be an entertainer?  I said, Maybe.  Or maybe becasue you love dirtbikes and football, He will use you to help someone that doesn't know Jesus.  You never knew.  You may meet someone through riding dirtbikes or playing football that will notice that you are different.  They will see how you act and talk and they will want to be a Christian too.  God uses sports to reach people that may never even think about going to church.  He looked up thoughtfully and said, oh.  Then he moved on to how he hates it when the teachers try to make them believe in the Big Boom theory. 

There are lessons in all things.  I smiled at my son.  He has a simple faith and it warmed my heart to hear him say...I do you figure out your purpose?  Can you just ask God?.  If only it were that easy for us!    We let fear, doubt, society, money, work and so many other things get in the way.  

I've been doing a better job lately of seeking God's will in my life.  Lots of things have happened that are clearly sending me down a path that I probably would have never thought about it.  I am blessed because God has put my sister and I working together.  I believe God is working in my life because I am letting HIm lead the way instead of getting in his way.  It is not easy though.  But what I have found to make the difference is just reading my Bible more and turning off my TV at night and praying and really trying to listen.  

Certainly if He loves us enough to go through the horrible death on a cross while carrying the burden of ALL sin, He loves us enough to guide our way.  We only have to get to know HIm, trust Him and be open to his plan.  It is a little scary at times, but He is on our side and He CANNOT (not just will not) forsake us.

Jesus, words cannot express the way my heart feels today. I've keep getting teary-eyed just thinking about the gift you gave me by dying on that cross.  I sense your love for me stronger than I ever have.  That makes me feel good but a little afraid at the same time.  So many times in my life, when things seem to be going good and I relax and let myself be really happy, something horrible happens.  So, I always tend to be cautious, fearful of letting go too much.  That is not how you want me to live.  You want me to live each day to the fullest.  You are confused by hesitance because you know of the plans you have for me.   

Luke 24:38  He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds?"  

Help me to continue to turn to your word to know you better.  Help me to accept my instruction from you and be happy and excited without fear because it is your will and you will be there at all costs.   Be with my sister and I as we work  together.  Thank you for all of the signs that you have given us that we are doing the right things.  Help us to continue to know our next steps and let us never stop seeking your face through it all.